Sparky
by Hellfilly Deluxe
Summary: A tale of things that happened long ago, friendship, darkness and leg warmers. May contain humanized ponies.
1. Intro

Hello. My name is Tara. Tara Sparks. Lots of people like to call me Sparky, which annoys me, but that's besides the point. Let me tell you about an odd dream I've been having for a while.

A long time ago, there were these two gods. One was called Laust and the other was called Fauren. The former was male, the latter was female. They hooked up one day and had three children. And I'm telling you the three young goddess names because I honestly forgot them. The five lived together on this Heaven based on Earth. However, a year or so later, the two gods left for undisclosed reasons. The mother said something about doing more galactic things, but I didn't really catch anything about that.

Anyways, the sisters lived in relative harmony until the middle sister found this cave. Inside the cave was a light that was so dark it wasn't bright. It was also so hot it's cool and so cool it's hot. And to add onto the stupidness, it could even talk. Yeah.

Because the middle sister was lonely, it spent a lot of time with the darkness and eventually became friends with it. That just proved that the second youngest sister couldn't see seriously obvious danger. I saw the darkness was dangerous because it continually corrupted her by telling her about this republic she could make. I guess it was also because the eldest sister was being a complete jerk, taking all the attention for herself. Part of the reason of why that this is probably because people layed to stay awake during the day and liked to sleep at night. Some people were nocturnal, but the middle sister barely bothered to take them into account. So, at some point, the middle sister decided that the youngest sister was being too lazy by not doing anything. Oh, yeah, the middle sister also joined forces with the darkness and became super-ultra-Anime evil because it made a good case as to why: "Let's team up and kill everybody. Then you'll win the hearts of everybody because nobody will be able to stop you from pulling 'em out!" The middle sister didn't really get it, but she wanted to be loved, so they joined together and the darkness took total control because I guess the middle sister forgot to read the fine print.

Anyways, the middle sister ended up going to war with the eldest, the youngest not sure which side the join: The one who wanted to destroy all humankind or the one trying to save it. Regardless, the battle went on for quite some time, the middle sister seeming to beat the eldest one at every single turn. The eldest got really annoyed at some point, alongside some sorta god. It wasn't their father or anything and wasn't Him, so... Yeah. Anyways, the unknown god got bored with the whole thing eventually and sent 6 guardian angels to help the eldest sister. It was super kawaii.

So the guardians did all they could, eventually banishing the middle sister to the true darkness of the moon, which was technically bright because of the sun. So it really wasn't truly dark. The eldest sister begged the guardians to bring her back someday, but they were all, like, 3 or something, so they had no idea what the eldest was saying. But they did somehow know that one day, they would be reborn and be needed again.

What does that have to do with anything, you might be asking? I have no idea. But I need something to talk about. And, because of that dream, I ended up meeting five other girls, who are too hyper, have self-esteem problems, yet are somehow full of themselves, with some amazing physical stats, are Southern and have a bit of not-so-bright stuff in them. And, with their help, I ended up going to an alternate universe and changing a major part of me forever. But before I can tell you that story, I have to tell you this story...


	2. Chapter 1: This Story

**SPARKY  
****By That Gamer!  
****Chapter 1: This Story**

Walking down a lonely street was a nice looking female. She was 23, was rockin' leg warmers, holding/reading about one books and previously had hair that went down to her ankles. It was really hard to keep when it was like that, so now it was shoulder-length, kept in line with a yellow headband with a purple star on it, really clashing with the leg warmers.

"Damn, this book is good," the girl (Tara Sparks) whispered to herself, so engrossed with the book that she didn't even notice she was causing major traffic jams. "Kind of takes my mind of the fact that I'm supposed to be going back to school... Wait... Da-"

All of a sudden, a voice from behind Tara shouted, "OUT OF THE WAY!" and Tara didn't even have time to think before something ran right into her, the two of them falling to the ground.

"I told you to get out of the way," the girl who ran into Tara mumbled.

"I'm so sorry," Tara said. "I-I would have gotten out the way, but you didn't give me any time to react!"

"I gave you a warning!" the girl pointed out, getting up and helping Tara do the same.

"Still not an excuse," Tara muttered, rubbing the top of her head.

"Look, I was running and I was just getting into it and I-I couldn't stop!" the girl explained. She then crossed her arms and looked off to the right, looked proud, adding, "Yeah, I'm a runner."

"That's nice... And I'm fine, by the way," Tara replied to the question that was never asked. She then bent down to pick up the books she dropped, but the girl stopped her.

"I'm feeling strangely benevolent today, so I guess I'll pick this up," the girl stated, starting to pick up the stuff she made Tara spill. "Wow, you got a lot of books."

"Of course!" Tara smiled at that remark. "I like to read a lot!"

"Huh... So you're an egghead I take it?" the girl chuckled while shaking her head.

"I'm not an egghead," Tara said. "Sure I might read a lot, but I'm not an egghead as you put it."

Rene nodded and chuckled about a few things only she got. Anyways, after picking everything up, she handed it to Tara whilst saying, "Here ya go. I recommend you get a bag... What's your name?"

"My name's Tara, Tara Sparks," Twilight replied, taking the stuff.

"No, no, no, your name's Sparky," the girl told Tara.

Tara blinked. "W-wha? No, my name's Tara."

"Nah, your name's Sparky," the girl repeated herself in a chill manner. "I like it. Sounds like a Facebook name"

"And that would be the only reason why I don't like it, but..." Tara began, but found something else that needed her attention. "Oh, you missed something over there... What's your name?"

"Rene. Rene Dashiell," Rene answered, saying it in the most cool way possible, turning around and bending over to pick the object up, which was a pencil.

When Rene did that, Tara blushed deeply. As it could be imagined, the clothes Rene was wearing were... Well, that weren't tight per say, but there was this awkward red spot and Tara knew exactly what it was. And it was gross.

"Here's your pencil," Rene said, getting up and giving Tara's pencil. "Hey, why are you blushing?..." A grin crossed Rene's face as she put it together. "You were looking at my butt, weren't you? Are you gay or something?... 'cause I'm not, no."

"Err, no, no!" Tara answered nervously. "I was, um, blushing at your... Loyalty! Yes, that..."

"How can I be loyal to someone I've only just met?" Rene retorted, raising an eyebrow and slightly tilting her head.

"...Yeah, I-I guess it's more kindness..."

"Of course. You're welcome."

"Thanks..." Tara mumbled in reply. She then said in a lot louder voice, "Say, do you want to walk with me?"

"No thanks; I gotta finish my run," Rene replied with a shrug.

"Oh..." Tara looked a little put down, but got over it.

"Hey, don't be so down. I hate negativity. Anyways, I gotta 'cause I'm worried that-"

"HEEEEEEEY! HEY, RENE!" shouted a voice from behind.

"Ah no..." Rene muttered under her breath.

And up bounced came a girl, who looked very hyper and seemed to have a thing for pink. Her clothes were pink, her shorts were pink, her shoes were pink, even her hair was pink. But dyed hair wasn't really that weird, seeing as how Tara's was purple with a few rose tripes and Rene seemed really indecisive. Anyways, the pink girl looked at Rene, then Tara, took a deep breath and let a jumble of words fall out of her mouth.

"OK, OK, I know you're- Could you just- I never even really- I'm not gay- Could you please- COULD YOU PLEASE SLOW DOWN!" Rene shouted, throwing her hand on the pink girl's mouth. "I mean... Just slow down!"

"Um... Who is this?" Tara whispered to Rene.

"Diane," Rene whispered back. "She's this hyper girl I've known ever since high school. She's really annoying."

"I'm not annoying!" Diane said through Rene's hand. "And you can call me Pinkie!"

"I can't imagine why," Tara commented, trying to still sound nice.

"Well, this is Tara," Rene introduced the Pinkie to Tara. "You can call her Sparky."

"Call me Tara," Tara stated, but Pinkie was quick to ignore it.

"Ooo! Hey, Sparky!" Pinkie greeted Tara with the happiest grin the latter had ever seen. "Where are you going with all those books, the library, did you steal them or take them all out at the same time, can you even do that, I have no idea, I should check sometimes, but not now, I'm going somewhere as well, what's with your hair, when did you dye that, I like your leg warmers, didn't they go out of style in the 80's-"

"Look, I'm new in this town," Tara interrupted. "I'm only here because I got this letter from this group called Bron-Y-Aur Stomp who said I have to go back to high school and it has to be in this town."

"I thought you looked American," Rene remarked, a hint of tease layed under her words gently.

"You must be from there!" Pinkie added.

"That's what I meant," Rene told Pinkie.

"I know, but I didn't know is she got it," Pinkie explained.

"I-I get it," Tara told the two. "I get that I'm new to Canada."

"Of course!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Anyways, I guess I should be heading off," Tara said, going off with the other two following.

"We have to go there, too," Rene said when Tara gave the two an odd look.

"Yeah, we both got letters!" Pinkie smiled, pulling a letter out of nowhere.

"Interesting..." Tara muttered. "That seems to be oddly convenient."

"Well, not considering who's walking beside me," Rene joked.

"Aw, come on, you like me!" Pinkie, putting her arm around Rene, said with a grin.

"Not the way I think you're implying it," Rene said, shaking Pinkie off. "You are implying it the way I think you are, right?"

"Um... Er... I think not!"

"Good. I'm not gay. I think she might be, but I'm not."

"Well, considering what was happening at your one end..." Tara whispered to herself.

"Sparky say what not?" Rene snapped.

"Nothing! Nothing..." Tara answered faster then Rene normally.

"Jeez, I thought I was fast with things!" Rene laughed. "I like you, Sparky."

"My name's not Sparky," Tara repeated herself.

"Yeah, but Sparky's 20% cooler," Rene reassured Tara.

"Does that make the rest of me cool!" Tara was hopefully

"With all the books you have..." Rene, shaking her head, began.

"Oh... So neither of you are curious about these letters?" Tara asked.

"Not in the slightest," was Rene's reply.

"I just hope all my friends are there! Like Black Snooty; he's cool," was Pinkie's.

Tara was going to say something about how she thought this wasn't government approved and has no right to put them back in high school, but she threw that idea out considering Pinkie's ignorance and Rene's general being-cool-to-the-point-of-not-caring.

"S#!t, I almost forgot, I told Sylvia I'd meet with her to discuss the track team," Rene said aloud.

"The track team?"

"I told you I was a runner!" Rene reminded the purple-haired female. "Anyways, yeah, I gotta run. Why don't you go talk to Olivia? She's... Um, 'well-read' like you and right over there!"

Indeed, sitting on a bench by the door was a girl dressed in nearly all brown reading a few sheets of paper.

"Are you sure?" Tara asked.

"I've never been so sure about anything in my life," Rene reassured Tara. "Look, I'll see you at lunch, OK?" But before shoving her off. She then turned to Pinkie and said, "Same with you."

"OK!" Pinkie chirped happily before running off in a different direction then Rene.

With Tara and Olivia, the former was going up a little nervously, not sure exactly what to say. But she took a deep breath and said, "So I hear your name is Olivia."

Olivia looked up, a boredly suspicious look on her face. "That vould be correct," she confirmed, a thick Russian accent blanketing her voice.

"So, uh..." It took Tara a second to come up with something else to say. "I've heard that you're well-read, like I am."

"Vell, speaking in terms of music..." Olivia began, flipping to a different page.

"Oh, so you're a music historian?" Tara suggested hopefully, sitting down next to Olivia.

"Player," Olivia corrected. "I'm a cellist. Alvays have been, alvays vill be."

"Interesting... Not really what I was expecting, but still interesting..."

"You don't seem interested," Olivia said. "So vhy are you sitting next to me?"

"Um, well Rene said you were well-read like me," Tara replied.

Olivia nodded and flipped to another page.

There was an awkward silence, which was only broken by these two girls coming up, one of them acting exactly like a dog and the other with these crazy contacts. Neither Tara nor Olivia payed them any mind, but I thought it was worth mentioning.

"...Can I look?" Tara asked. "A-at the music sheets, I mean?"

"I see no reason vhy not," Olivia answered, handing the sheets to Tara.

Tara put her books and stuff down beside her, taking the sheets and leafing through it, commenting at one point, "This looks really complicated. And this is for a cellist? It looks like it's for a full orchestra."

"It's a cello version of 'Angel Of Death'," Olivia said before taking the sheets back.

"What?"

"Anyvays, there's about ten minutes until school begins," Olivia muttered, looking at her watch, "so I better get going. See you, Tara."

"Uh... Bye?"

"Of course." Olivia nodded again, going off. She then stopped for a moment and added, "Buy the vay, if you see my sister, Violet, I'm older." Then she officially left.

"That was- HOLY $#!T, IT IS TEN MINUTES!" Tara yelled, picking up her stuff and dashing inside, past to girl who was acting like a dog, who, by the way, was on a leash and tied to a pole next to the school.

So Tara went through the halls, speed walking because running wasn't allowed, looking for her locker. Then she bumped into somebody who was heading the other way.

"Oh, I-I'm sorry," the girl Tara bumped into whispered.

"It's OK, I was just looking for my locker and I wasn't paying attention," Tara explained.

"O-oh, me too," the girl (who had light pink hair and a thing for yellow-based clothing) continued to whisper. "Um... Where's your locker?"

"838," Tara read off the sheet that, obviously, had her locker number on it. "It's on the second floor. Why?"

"Oh! M-mine's 840," the girl told Tara, picking up her voice's volume a little. "I-I gues, um, I should follow you then, 'c-cause you seem nice enough and your locker's next to mine."

"Eh, why not?" Tara shrugged and continued. "Why were you down here anyways?"

"I-I don't know..." the girl mumbled.

"I guess that's a fine response," Tara said. "What's your name, by the way?"

"Um... Feeruergue..." the girl mumbled, getting quieter.

"...Pardon?"

"Uh... Felifgnwrgn..."

"A little louder?"

"Er... Felicia Shay..."

"Felicia, huh? Well, I'm Tara, Tara Sparks," Tara told Felicia.

"Oh... So I-I can call you Sparky, right?"

"God damn it, NO!" Tara snapped.

Felicia took a step back, startled obviously didn't read the previous few paragraphs.

"Sorry, sorry," Tara sighed. "It's just... Things happened earlier and... Sorry."

"I-I-It's alright," Felicia mumbled, taking a step forward so she could continue so she could continue to walk with Tara.

"OK... Y'know, you're the second person I've met today by bumping into them," Tara pointed out. She then shortly afterward added, "You didn't make me drop my stuff, however, so that's a plus."

"W-w-well, that's g-good," Felicia said. She seemed to be naturally quiet.

"Why are you do quiet?" Tara asked.

"Well, I kind of don't like people," Felicia replied, trying to hide behind her hair as the two climbed a stair (rhymes, all the time). "I-I personally like the company of animals better... And trees, too, b-but that's a different story... Um, n-no offense to you..."

"It's OK," Tara reassured Felicia. "I've been offended by worse things today."

"Like?"

"Sparky," Tara deadpanned, the two getting off the stairs and heading left.

"Oh..."

"Anyways, moving on," Tara stated, "I don't mean to sound rude, but have you made any friends?"

"Well, there's you, I presume," Felicia began.

"No need to have presumptions," Tara said.

"And then there's this other woman, Chrystine Alice," Felicia continued. "She's twenty years older then me. I'm 24, by the way."

"One year older then me," Tara stated the obvious.

"Yeah, that was pretty obvious," Felicia said.

"I know... I don't know why I said it, actually," Tara said, stopping to put her down her stuff and take a quick drink from a near by water fountain.

"Yeah, me and Chrystine have been dating for some time..." Felicia mused.

Spittake. "Dating?!"

"Um... Yes, we have been," Felicia confirmed. "Is there a problem?"

"For somebody so shy, you sure are open about it!" Tara said.

"Well, Chrystine says I'm pretty open when you get past my shyness," Felicia explained.

"I think it's more the fact that she's older then you," Tara, picking up her stuff, told Felicia. "And the last person I bumped into was so defensive about her sexuality!"

"Rene?" Felicia asked.

"That's her," Tara answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Whenever I saw her at school, that was all she was talking about," Felicia replied.

"Odd," Tara commented. At that point, they reached their lockers. "So I can also presume we have the same classes, since our lockers are so close together."

"Well, I guess..." Felicia mumbled.

"So you need a bag, as well?" Tara asked.

"Oh, no, I just forgot mine at home," Felicia corrected Tara.

"Oh..."

"You seem disappointed," Felicia said.

"I-" Tara began, but then, all of a sudden, her mind flashed elsewhere...

**FLASH!**

"Twilight, is this gonna take much longer?" a voice that sounded like Rene asked. "I got places to be, ponies to... Actually, I just got to gotta be places. No ponies to see or do. Really."

"Relax, Rainbow, I just need to do a few more tests," Tara reassured Rainbow, writing a few things down on a sheet of parchment. "See, the princess needs me to do a couple of these on you girls. I don't know why, but I guess it's important, seeing as how it took her a long time to get my trust back."

"Three weeks, if I recall correctly" Rainbow reminded Tara.

"Yeah, don't remind me..." Tara muttered. "Now, this might sting a little. I'm using my old Researcher Twilight equipment. But don't worry, it's been toned down a notch."

"First of all, Twilight," Rainbow began, "you kinda need to trust the princess. I don't need to know a lot about politics, but-" She was cut off by unbearable pain.

**FLASH!**

Tara gasped when she snapped back to reality.

"Sparky, are you OK?" Felicia asked, sounding concerned.

"First of all, I'm not Sparky," Tara replied in a dazed way. "Second, that's been happening for three weeks now. But it's nothing to worry about. My mind just goes elsewhere for, like, ten seconds before coming right back. Happens at least once or twice a day. Depends."

"Oh... So you don't have a driver's license?" Felicia asked.

"Of course I do," Tara answered while opening her locker. "Why wouldn't I? I am a fully grown woman."

"I know, but if that happens constantly..." Felicia started, but trailed off.

"Once or twice a day," Tara repeated herself. "And I've always managed to get out of getting into a bad crash. Take last week for example-"

"Can I not hear that story?" Felicia asked.

"It's your loss," Tara said, slamming her locker stuff, having put in the stuff she wouldn't be using for first or second period.

"...What were you going to say earlier?" Felicia enquired.

Tara thought for a moment before replying, "Oh, yeah. I was gonna say that I'd spent all month last month getting my stuff ready for school, but I forgot the bag. Then again, I did file for bankruptcy several times..."

"Um... Don't feel too bad," Felicia said reassuringly.

"I'm trying not to..." Tara mumbled with a shrug. "Now, come on, let's go."

"We still have 7 minutes," Felicia pointed out.

"I know, but I really want to be there beforehand," Tara explained before running off.

Having nothing else better to do, Felicia followed her, not knowing of the... Stuff ahead.

**A/N: And that's that. Yeah. I don't know why, but I've always had a fascination with humanized stories. Maybe it's because I wanna see how things or changed around or how the characters are portrayed, I don't know. And really, my only complaint is are the naming choices: Either keeping them exactly the same or changing them too much (i.e., Applebloom is Zoey). Now that should mean I should like the story the human names are taken from, _My Little Human: High School Is Far From Magic_, but I'm not a big fan of romance. And speaking of not liking things, I don't like anthro, my reason being that you either make it entirely human or keep them ponies. Not that should mean I should hate _Equestria Girls_, but, hey, how can I hate those leg warmers?! I know they went out of style forever ago, but still! And I'm just rambling at this point, so I hope you enjoyed and got where half the references came from.**


	3. Chapter 2: Mittag Für Beinlinge

**SPARKY  
****Chapter 2: Mittag Für Beinlinge (Und Klasse, Auch)  
****By That Gamer!**

"And here we are, room number 21," Tara said when the two arrived.

"Already?" Felicia asked, disappointed.

"I guess so," Tara replied with a nod. "So is this your class?"

"Actually, no, I just remembered that my first class is in room 52," Felicia told Tara with a sheepish smile.

"It's OK," Tara said. "Now you run along now. You don't want to be late."

"That depends," Felicia mumbled. "So I'll see you at lunch, then?"

Tara nodded and Felicia went off, speed-walking because running still wasn't allowed. She ended up walking into a few people, but nothing much amounted from that.

Anyways, Tara went into her first class, Creative Writing & Censorship, and was surprised to see that a few people were already there, most of them females. The notable ones included a very white skinned one, with purple hair and a dress on almost as white (and transparent) as the one wearing; a noticeably darker skinned one that seemed a lot older, who seemed to have a holes motif, because the clothes she was wearing had obvious tears in them and, heck, even her aqua green haired seemed to have holes in it; then there was the one who had skin between the purple haired girl and the holey woman, was a man, wearing glasses and was trying to balance books on his head, probably out of boredom; and, finally, there was another girl, who didn't really seem to have a color scheme (her hair was green/yellow-green and the rest of her clothes were gray and dark blue), but oh man, she... Well, to quote The Legend Of Zelda, "Wow! What a nice chest!" Pinkie was there, too, along with somebody who looked a lot like Tara, but I'll get to her.

"Um... Hello?" Tara said aloud, catching the attention of most people in the class for a second.

"HEY, TARA!" Pinkie exclaimed. "There's an empty seat next to me!"

"Actually, I was thinking of sitting one seat in front of that," Tara said, going to said seat.

"Oh! Well, that's alright!" Pinkie laughed. "It's kind of like you're sitting beside me, but you're in front of me! So you're technically diagonal from me, which, in a sense means you are beside and in front of me! This is kind of like a paradox, you know? You what crazy stuff could happen because of that?!"

For the most part, Tara ignored Pinkie's rant, mostly because the purple haired girl from I mentioned went over to Tara and said, "Darling, leg warmers went out of style forever ago."

"Hey, I like wearing them..." Tara muttered, leaning over a little to get a look at her legs.

"I mean the rest of you is fine, but..." the girl sighed and shook her head. "You need my help, I can tell. The name's Belmont. Rachel Belmont, Hubbard High's resident fashion guru, minus all that tacky stuff actual gurus and mystic have." She held her hand out for Tara to shake it.

"Like a crystal ball?" Pinkie suggested, holding up a crystal ball from out of nowhere.

"I... I do suppose," Rachel replied awkwardly.

"Um... Well, thanks for the offer," Tara said, shaking Rachel's hand. "If I do ever need help, I'll let you know."

"Mm-hm." Rachel gave Tara her card and went her seat, where exactly zero guys surrounded her. She could be heard sighing, "I wish there were more males in this school... Stupid Principal Faust..."

"Hey, I don't know who Principal Faust is, but..." Tara started to lecture Rachel on proper etiqute, but then she noticed the person sitting directly next to her looked exactly like Tara (right down to the leg warmers), with the only small exception being the purple skin. "Um... Well, you look remarkably like me."

"I can say the same to you," the second Tara agreed, leaning on the desk. "Well, you know what they say. Somewhere out there, there is somepony who looks exactly like you."

"Now, I wouldn't say exactly," Tara told her twin, eying the skin. "Wait, did you say 'somepony'? Are you one of those pegasisters I keep hearing about?"

"Uh..." the second Tara didn't reply right away. She thought for a few moments before screaming "BAIL!" and running out of the room.

"That girl ain't right," the holey woman commented.

There was a general mumble of agreement through the class, Tara protesting, followed by the teacher coming in. The teacher, like most people, had a motif with her clothing, this one seeming to be white. In somewhat of a contrast, the hair was pink and seemed to be almost flowing.

"Good morning, my somewhat small class," the teacher greeted her class.

"Good morning miss... Who ever you are," the class chorused.

"Yes, I should tell you my name," the teacher said with a chuckle. "Anyways, my name is..." Instead of just saying her name, she picked up a piece of chalk and began writing it on the board, but erasing each letter after wrote it. "Anyways, I pre- Yes, you?"

Tara put her hand down and said, "First of all, my name's Tara. For those of you who don't know, I'm an exchange student from America. My name's Tara. Second, um, speaking of names, what's yours?"

"I just wrote it on the board," the teacher told Tara. "Are you trying to be smart and pretend you can't read?"

"No, no, you just erased your name, that's all!" Tara retorted quickly.

"I hope you aren't trying be smart on your first day," the teacher threatened.

"...So can I call you Ms. _?" Tara asked hopefully.

Ms. _ didn't say anything, opting to just get on with her lesson. "So I presume you all know each other, save for Tara, so no need to introduce to each other."

There was a mumble of agreement through the room, like before, and Ms. _ smiled.

"Good!" Ms. _ smiled. "Anyways, this is Creative Writing & Censorship. So can anybody tell me what that is?"

Pinkie raised her hand and started making some grunting noises.

"Tara, do you have anything?" Ms. _ enquired.

"Huh? Um, sorry, I got nothing," Tara admitted. "I knew I should have studied for another hour..."

Pinkie started straining her hand a lot more and tried to make herself louder.

"Wendy, you take a shot at it," Ms. _ said to the nice chest girl, apparently named Wendy.

"Er, I have no idea," Wendy answered with a shrug. It's of note to say that her voice sounded like her voice had been autotuned and computerized about a dozen times, making her sound very sick. You would feel sorry for her if you heard it.

Pinkie got on her desk, crouching like a baseball player, now sounding constipated.

"OK, stop doing the _Wayside_ thing," Ms. _ said. "What do you want to say?"

"Well, first of all, there have been very strict rules that've been put upon some authors just trying to make their work be out there so people could enjoy it..." Pinkie began, everybody's hearts sinking as they knew this was going to go on for a while.

AND IT DID. When Pinkie was done, so was second period.

"...And in conclusion, I have one thing to say," Pinkie finally concluded. "All in all, nolo dicere, quod sicut in universo-alogia est Fasciculumque mauris. Totalis et perfecta stupri purgamentum. Tempus autem, qui ascenderunt cum volo palmis caedebat elit. Stultius videtur esse quaedam, quoddam, id est huiusmodi, sed ut sit meus sensus et assistant. Irrumabo."

"Err... T-thank you, P-Pinkie... T-t-that was v-very informative..." Ms. _ managed to stammer out, waking up shortly after Pinkie finished her speech. "You could talk about politics. Oh, class is over... No homework, I guess?... You can go."

So, with that, everybody woke up, got their stuff and left, Tara staying a minute or two longer to take down a few notes, as she actually listened to a few minutes of Pinkie's speech. Afterward, she got up and left, Ms. _ waving to her. But she then sat at her desk, stared at the ceilings and sighed.

"Luna..." whispered Ms. _, all depressed like.

"Aaaah, what?!" Wendy shouted, suddenly waking up. Yeah.

"Urh... You can go now," Ms. _ told Wendy.

"Oooh, right!" Wendy exclaimed, running- er, speed-walking out as fast she could.

"That was close," Ms. _ said to herself. "Anyways, where was I? Oh, yeah, whispering to myself as thinly veiled foreshadowing. Anyways, Luna..."

Meanwhile, Tara was hurrying down to the cafeteria after quickly stopping at her locker for the $27 she had taken out of her bank account last week in preparation (and a book). On the way, she could smell the distinct smell of apples. Stopping to take a quick look, she noticed a girl standing at her locker, eating an apple. Unlike the previous females Tara ran across, this girl's theme seemed to have to do with cowgirl stereotypes. They were all there, right down to hat she wasn't supposed to wear inside.

Tara thought for a second about whether or not she should introduce herself. On one hand, the last she tried to make friends, she turned out to be a Russian who seemed like she wanted nothing to do with her. On the other hand, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

"Hey, you," Tara greeted.

"Yeah?" the Western girl grunted, looking all bored-like at Tara.

"Um... I noticed you're eating an apple," Tara said, looking about as awkward as she sounded.

"Ah see yah got a good eye there," the Western girl drawled Southerly. Seemed like she was being sarcastic, too. "Yah want one? Ah got about a dozen."

"Um... Sure!"

The Western girl nodded, reached in her locker, got an apple and tossed it at Tara. She only barely caught it.

"Looks a little bruised," Tara commented, inspecting the apple.

"That's because you suck at catching things," the Western girl mumbled, mouth full of apple. "In case yah're wonderin', mah name's Jacqueline Apel. You can call meh 'AJ'."

"Well, I'm, Tara," Tara told AJ. "Tara Sparks. And, please, don't call me Sparky."

"Why?" AJ asked with a teasing tone. "It suits yah."

Tara groaned and took a bite of the apple AJ gave her. It was surprisingly good.

"This is good. Did you grow this?" Tara enquired.

"E'yup," AJ responded. "Ah'm an apple farmer, yah know. Mah whole family is. We've in this business since ah think about 1838 and probably will be until 2738, which ah assume will be the 521st anniversary of the business starting."

"Actually, it'll be the 900th anniversary," Tara pointed out, swallowing before she said anymore. "And, really, assuming something will go on forever is a little pretentious. Take this My Little Pony I've heard a lot of people talking about. Sure, it may be good, but that doesn't mean it'll survive for forever. People are gonna lose interest at some point and it's going to die off, being forgotten with a lot of other things that people assumed were going to last forever. Like The Beatles. Not that people lost interest in them, far from that, but even they couldn't go on forever and I'm-"

"Hey!" AJ snapped. "Don't try to fool me with your fancy mathematics!"

Tara couldn't come up with an appropriate response to that, so she instead decided to ask something: "Do you want to come to the cafeteria with me? I'm going to meet some people there and maybe they'd like to meet you, too."

"Eh, ah don't see why not," AJ shrugged. She finished her apple, tossed it at a nearby garbage can (missed), shut her locker and went with Tara to the cafeteria.

"So they have apple farms here in Canada?" Tara asked incredulously. "I just assumed most of this country's income came from filming The X-Files."

"For somebody who looks so smart, yah sure are stupid," AJ said. "First of all, The X-Files ended 10 years ago."

"Oh."

"Second of all, ah come from the Prairies," AJ continued, "and, out there, we do have farms. Why mah family moved us here is beyond me, but ah can assume it's... Actually, ah don't know f***ing why ah'm here. And did yah here that beeping?"

"What beeping?" Tara asked back.

"Yah wouldn't understand," AJ grumbled as they reached the place Tara wanted then to go to.

The cafeteria was kind of small, seeing as how only characters who had some kind of influence on the plot were here, so Tara had no trouble finding Felicia sitting all by her lonesome, save for that holey woman I mentioned earlier.

"Ah, Felicia's over there," Tara told AJ, pointing at said place.

"So?"

"I'm gonna sit over there once I get my lunch," Tara explained. "You can sit there, too, if you want."

"Ah don't need lunch; I ah had mah apple," AJ said. "And ah guess ah'll over there."

"Good!" Tara said with a smile before going to get her lunch, AJ going to the table with Felicia and the holey woman.

Naturally, Tara went there, too, after getting her lunch, sitting to the left of the holey woman (who was left of Felicia). AJ had to move over a little, so she was to Tara's left.

A brief silence followed, broken by Tara saying, "So has your day been going, Felicia?"

"Oh, it's been going wonderful!" Felicia answered cheerfully. Still kind quiet, but cheerful. "Chrystine is in both of my first two periods and I didn't have a lot of attention drawn to myself. I'm always happy when that kind of stuff with people I don't know." When she noticed AJ, she added, "No offense."

"'s OK," AJ said. "Name's Jacqueline, by the way. Call my AJ."

"Felicia Shay," Felicia introduced herself, I guess deciding that AJ seemed nice enough. "And this is Chrystine."

"Charmed," Chrystine said.

"Same here," AJ said, leaning back in her chair a little. A few moments later, she said, "No swiss?"

"Oh for the love of..." Chrystine grumbled. "Just because I like having holes in my clothes, doesn't mean I like Swiss cheese! GOT THAT?!"

"Fine, fine, ah was just..." AJ tried to apologize, but then changed the subject by saying to Felicia, "Ah notice you don't have a lot of meat, Felicia."

"Oh, I'm a vegetarian," Felicia explained. "I feel awful about eating animals, so I don't eat anything that comes from a living being."

"Plants are living things, too," Tara pointed out.

"Yes, but I don't feel as sorry," Felicia told Tara.

There seemed to be a few logistical flaws in Felicia's thinking. So a minute or two later, Rene and Pinkie finally showed up, the latter dragging the former to the table.

"Hey!" Pinkie exclaimed with a grin plastered on her face so thick, it seemed like she could never have another emotion. "Tara, it seems you've made some friends!"

"Yeah," Tara said happily. "This is-"

"Oh, I know everybody," Pinkie interrupted, making Rene sit next to her.

"How so?" Tara enquired.

"Facebook!"

"I don't have one," admitted Tara.

"Then MySpace!"

"I told you, Pinkie, I wasn't having lunch today," Rene grumbled.

Pinkie patted Rene on the head and cooed, "Aw, you know you wanted to hang out with me and Tara! You like us!"

"Yes, but not this much," Rene snapped, swatting Pinkie's hang away, making the pink haired one giggle. "I was talking to Sylvia, you know!"

"You can talk to her anytime!" Pinkie argued, still sounding like she was joking. "Enjoy our company for a little while!"

Rene didn't say anything. She just leaned on one arm and sighed heavily in annoyance. Pinkie obviously payed no mind. She just opened her very childish lunchbox, which let out an explosion of air and confetti.

"That seems like a little much," Tara remarked.

"But lunch is more fun this way!" Pinkie retorted. "Sure, it doesn't leave a lot of room for anything else, but it does make it less boring!" She pulled out a cupcake, which Tara assumed was the only thing in there. Through a mouthful of cake, Pinkie asked, "So, did you make anymore friends?"

"Well, there is this girl called..." Tara took out Rachel's card for a moment. "Rachel Belmont."

"Rachel?" Pinkie repeated.

"Yeah, her," Tara confirmed. "I should start eating my lunch..."

Ignoring that, Pinkie was looking around the lunchroom. When she saw what she wanted, she shouted, "HEY, RACHEL, OVER HERE!"

Tara looked up just in time to see Rachel, a table or two away, cringe noticeably. She came over and hissed to Pinkie, "There is no need to shout, darling."

"Sorry, it's my fault," Tara told Rachel, embarrassed.

"Well, you could have just asked," Rachel said, sitting at the table, making Rene audibly groan. "Oh, hello. I didn't see you sitting there."

"What's wrong?" Felicia asked.

"She's the one who spread the rumor about me being gay," Rene answered angrily. "She doesn't need to be here."

"Darling, it was just a slip of the tongue," Rachel explained calmly. "I didn't even know you when I said it. In fact, I still don't know who you are."

"It's still no excuse!"

"She was a lot nicer before, I swear," Tara whispered to Felicia.

"Um... I guess..." Felicia whispered back.

"Something must have happened, methinks," Tara continued. "Though I think I can tell why." She then said in a much louder tone, "Rene, if you're embarrassed or frustrated about your sexuality, there's no need to be."

"It's not that!" Rene snapped, standing up. "It's the _lies_ she has spread about me!"

"Rene, you don't need to hold me to that," Rachel sighed. "It happened, what, 6 years ago? Darling, let it go... For goodness sake!"

"No, you started that lie!" Rene snarled. "And how can I forgive the person who caused me several years of torment?!"

"Nobody's been making fun of you," Tara pointed out. "Besides, nobody would be making fun of you if you would just stop pointing it out."

Rene blinked. "What?"

"People would stop making fun of you," Tara said slowly, "if you stopped say you were. If you constantly keep claiming that you're not gay, people will assume that you are and just denying it."

"...F***..." Rene swore under breath.

"I think you owe Rachel an apology," Tara stated.

"Sorry Rachel," Rene said, starting to lose the anger she displayed earlier.

"'Tis OK, darling," Rachel said back.

"Well, that's one chapter of my life over," Rene laughed, pulling an iPod and headphones out of nowhere. "So, if you'll excuse me, I have some Maiden to listen to."

"That's OK." Tara nodded and turned to the others. "Well, since we're all here, tell me about yourselves."

"Well, I've been on a diet for some-" Rachel started, but Rene interrupted with her music. "Oh, for goodness sake..."

"HEY, RENE, COULD YOU TURN THAT DOWN?!" Tara shouted. However, Rene seemed to bear no mind. So, resorting to her last resort early, she took Rene's headphones off.

"HEY, RENE, COULD YOU TURN THAT DOWN?!" Tara shouted. However, Rene seemed to bear no mind. So, resorting to her last resort early, she took Rene's headphones off.

"Yes?" Rene asked, still chill, pausing her music.

"Do you need to have your music so-" Tara began, but then she had another flash. And here it is:

**FLASH!**

"...bill goes up," Tara muttered to herself, then saying to Rainbow, "So how are you doing? Why'd you crash through my window again?"

"D... D... D-D-D-D-D-D-Daring D-D-Do author!" Rainbow spluttered, getting up. She looked really excited. "Autob-b-b-b-biography! R-r-read it to me!"

"OK... Why do I have to do?" Tara asked. "I mean, I don't have any problem with it FrIeNd, but can't you get somepony else? Like Fluttershy, she could do it!"

"She's busy with Chrysalis," Rainbow replied.

"So? Can't she stop for a little while to read it to you?" Tara asked.

"She's _BUSY_ with Chrysalis," Rainbow repeated herself.

"Oh, it's that kind of busy," Tara said, more to herself then anything else. "What about anypony else? Did you ask them?"

"No, I can straight to you," Rainbow admitted. "And you owe me for earlier. And why are you trying to get me to go away?"

"I'm not, trying, FrIeNd!" snapped Tara. She swallowed and said, "Sorry, Dash. You know how I am with ponies like you accusing me of things. Paranoia and all. Anyways, I did have this report to do, but I guess I can do what you want. So where's the book?"

Rainbow opened her mouth to say something, but then an orange-peach pony came in then, drawling like AJ, "Rainbow Dash, yah dropped yer book after yah crashed though mah place. Scared the livin' daylightd outta all 'a us. Ah really-"

**FLASH!**

"...Loud!" Tara finished after her flash was over, still being loud.

"First of all, do you need to be?" Rene asked back. "And second, why'd ya pause for so long?"

"Oh, sorry," Tara muttered, putting a hand to her head. "I had this flash. It happens sometimes, right Felicia?"

"Yeah... I-I think," Felicia confirmed.

"Oh really?" Rene chuckled. "Flashes? Tell me, Sparky, what did you see in your 'flash'?" Air quotes were out around "flash", BTW FYI.

"I'm not Sparky," Tara huffed.

"Whatever you say, Sparky."

"And, to answer your question," Tara continued, "you were there, like the last flash I had a couple of hours ago. But then there was this pony that sounded like-"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Rene interrupted. "Ponies? Your 'flashes' have ponies? Are you a Brony or something?"

"No, no, no," Tara replied quickly. "I-I'm not... So anyways, back to the topic we were on, do you have to listen to your music so loud? I think people on the other end of the cafe could hear it."

"Of course!" answered Rene with a laugh. "How can you not? It's really the only way!"

"Y-y-yes, b-b-b-but i-it's k-k-kind of startling for some," Felicia stammered, cowering against Chrystine.

"It's her, in case you couldn't tell," Chrystine added. She was stroking Felicia's hair all cross-like.

"Oh, yeah, I just remembered!" Tara spoke up. "The Rene sounding pony mentioned somebody who has a name that sounds a lot like yours, Chrystine!"

"So what was it?" Chrystine enquired flatly.

"Chrysalis," Tara answered. She shrugged.

"So it's just taking the 'tine' out of my name," Chrystine deduced, stil in a bored tone.

"I guess."

"How unoriginal," Chrytine sighed. "So, as you were going to say-"

"I actually think that the Rene sounding pony implied you two were screwing," Tara mused.

"You were going to say, Rene!" Chrysalis continued a lot louder then before

"I was going to say: Well, live with it!" Rene exclaimed. "It's my music and I can listen to it as loud as I want to!"

"Now that's something I can get behind!" a voice agreed. Then, up came this really slutty looking girl, putting her hand on Rene's shoulder.

"Right on Violet!" Rene said, high-fiving the person in question.

"Oh, you're Violet?" Tara enquired. "I think I met your sister earlier... What was her name?"

"Olivia?" Violet suggested.

"Yeah, that's her," Tara confirmed.

Violet nodded. "She's a real sourpuss," she said. "Thankfully, she got all the Russian genes. I call all the ones that made me awesome."

"But not as cool as me," Rene said.

"You're cool," Violet told Rene, "and I'm awesome." She looked at Tara and said, "Anyways, I can't hang for long. I got a few mixes to work and I gotta also lay down some piano tracks. I'm a piano-and-bass playing DJ, ya know. During the day I'm in a jazz band and at night I DJ. In the afternoons, I DJazz, but that's another topic all together. Anyways, see you all later!" She then began to leave, but briefly stopped the say to Tara, "I'm older, by the way!"

Tara blinked. "What?"

Then the bell rang and Tara bolted out of the room.

"...And I thought I was fast!" Rene commented, getting. "Put I gotta go, too. See ya later!"

So Rene left and, as she was leaving, Rachel noticed something.

"Rene, darling, I think you forgot something!" Rachel called, point at Rene's rear.

"What?" Rene asked, looking at Rachel. "What about my..." She looked at where Rachel was pointing. "AAAAH, F***!" She then ran off, embarrassed and frustrated.

"Surprised she didn't notice it earlier," AJ remarked, the group agreeing before splitting off.

**A/N: I just want to make a note of something. While this story is being updated whenever I finish a new chapter, this story won't be going up on FIMFiction until the fifth chapter goes up or something. Why? In-universe. That's all Also, could you remember the term "xenografi" for me? Thanks. It'll come into play never. Bonum nocte et fortuna!**


	4. Chapter 3: The M Rated Chapter

**SPARKY  
****Ch.3 - The "M" Rated Chapter  
****By That Gamer!  
****Disclaimer: The chapter is rated "T"**

It had been four months since Tara's first day at Hubbard High. Well, 4 months, 4 days and 18 hours and 38 minutes, to be exact. In case you're wondering what happened in those 4 months, 3 days, 18 hours and 13 minutes, I'll give you a brief recap: Nothing happened. 'Cause if something did happen, I'd tell you. Well, Tara's friends never stopped calling her Sparky (and Tara never got used to it), but that's important. So let's move on.

It was a beautiful Saturday morning. The sun was shinning, the birds were singing, it was the opposite of dark & stormy and Tara was sleeping in. She had spent all night the previous night reading various random books until 1 in the morning and had fell asleep on her couch. And she stayed there until the phone rang at 9 A.M. It gave her quite a startle, making her fall off her couch and only half waking her.

"Urgh... What is it?" Tara groaned sleepily into the phone.

"Where are you, darling?" demanded Rachel, who was on the other end. "We've been waiting for you for..." Her voice got quieter, apparently asking somebody else, "How long has it been?"

"An hour," AJ's voice could be heard saying.

"An hour!" Rachel repeated, slapping concern onto it.

"Wha... What are we doing today?" Tara asked, rubbing her eyes.

"Remember the pool I pointed out the other day?" Rachel asked in return.

"It was last week!" AJ shouted in the background.

"Actually, I think it was three days ago," Rene could be heard saying.

"Don't try fooling me with your fancy mathematics!" AJ said back.

"Um, yeah, let's say five days ago," Rachel told Tara. "And could you hold on a second?" Her voice got farther away as she said the following, "HEY, YOU TWO, COULD YOU PLEASE STOP ARGUING?! I'M TRYING TO TALK TO TARA!"

There was a pause as Tara forced her 3/4-sleepy mind to think. Then she thought of it.

[hr]

"You know, darling, we're planning on going to that pool over there tomorrow," Rachel told Tara as the two passed the place.

Tara nodded, reading _The Chronicles Of Narnia_, and said, "That's very interesting, Rachel. By the way, thanks for walking home with me."

"You're welcome, Tara," Rachel replied with a nod. "Sure my house is on the other side of town, but I don't want to disappoint a friend."

"Yeah, you're loyal like that," Tara said.

"Mm-hm..." Rachel was quiet for a few moments before asking, "So why didn't Rene and Pinkie walk with you?"

"I dunno; they said something about cupcakes," Tara replied with a shrug.

"How remarkably odd," Rachel muttered. "...So, do you want to go to the pool with us on Saturday?"

"Eh, sure, why not?" Tara blushed.

"And why did you blush?" Rachel asked.

"I... Have no idea, honestly. I'll look it up when I get home and tell you tomorrow."

[hr]

"Oh, shoot, you're right!" Tara exclaimed after the flashback was over.

"Tara, you're shouting in my ear..." Rachel whined.

"I-I'm so sorry; I'll see you girls there!" Tara told Rachel before hanging up and going to get dressed or something, saying to herself, "How in the world could I forgot this?! Well, I did read my books forever and fell asleep for longer then I had planned, but still! I feel awful..."

[hr]

About fifteen minutes, Tara finally arrived with a bag over her shoulder, trying to change things up by wearing different leg warmers.

"I'm sorry I'm so late," Tara said. "I don't know what happened to me last night!"

"Was it drugs?" Felicia asked, worried.

"No, it was books," Tara corrected her shy friend.

"So basically drugs," Rene joked.

Tara smirked at Rene and shook her head before telling the group, "I'm going to go get changed, OK?"

"Why didn't you change before you came?" AJ enquired, crossing her arms.

"That was an option?" Tara wondered aloud.

"Of course!" Rene answered with a small laugh. "Sure, you get a lot of weird looks, but I know what they're thinkin'."

"I know, I know," Tara said before going to the changing rooms.

"'Course you do!" Rene laughed. She turned to Pinkie and added, "I'm sexy and she knows it."

"You wish," Rachel scoffed jokingly.

"Yes you do," Rene shot back.

"Well, at least my wish came true," Rachel retorted.

Rene took a deep breath, but could not come up with a comeback.

"Ooo, she got you Rene!" Pinkie laughed.

"Shut up!" Rene said, also chuckling.

"I'm glad that didn't evolve into anything," Felicia mumbled, but nobody paid attention to her. Poor thing.

"I'm back, girls!" Tara said.

"Still, wearing yer leg warmers, sugarcube?" AJ asked.

"Hey, they can get clean in the water," Tara explained. "It sticks to your leg for a little while, sure, but I find it all worth it in the end."

"That's just weird," AJ remarked.

"But it's my motif!" Tara argued.

"Motif?" AJ asked.

"We have motifs?" Felicia asked as well. "N-not that I-I'm d-disagreeing w-w-with you a-at all..."

"Yeah, I like purple," Tara answered, listing it of on her fingers, "you have a country theme, Rene likes rainbows, Rachel's really white and Felicia is yellow, with various nature stuff on it."

"I see you've been paying attention," Rachel said with a nod of approvement.

"Yeah, yeah, of course," Rene muttered. "So, anyways, AJ, Pinkie, you two ready?!"

"Wait, ready for-" Tara started, but, by that point, Rene, AJ and Pinkie had already jumped in the water, making a big splash. It made Felicia blush.

"AAAH! I'm all wet!" Rachel cried.

"So?" Tara asked. "Isn't that point of going the pool? To swim in the water?"

"Personally, I prefer to work on my tan," Rachel said.

"Yeah, you really have one!" Rene shouted from the water, laughing.

"I like to read!" Tara said, referring to the bag she still had.

"What? You can't read here!" Rachel exclaimed, taking the bag from Tara.

"HEY!"

"Look, you should enjoy yourself," Rachel told Tara, going over to one of the beach chairs near-by, placing the bag next to her and sitting on said chair.

"Aw, come on!" Tara complained. "You're not doing anything!"

"My point still stands," Rachel argued.

Tara wanted to make further arguments pointing out the complete obvious, but that would be completely pointless. So she, instead, sat down in the chair next to Rachel, trying to look angry.

"See, there ya go!" Rarity said happily.

So nothing happened for a little while: Rachel sat around, Tara made one or two attempts to get her books back, Felicia was chatting up with the animals (to quote what Pinkie said at one point, "She cray-crayon!") and AJ, Rene and Pinkie were all messing around in the pool, generally annoying each other and almost getting Rachel wet again, much to her annoyance. However, at one point, Rene snuck out of the pool without anybody noticing. She went over to Tara's chair, picked her up and tossed her in the pool.

"HEY!" Tara yelled once she got above the water's surface. "THE HECK WAS THAT FOR!"

"You got Punk'd!" Rene shouted, cracking up pretty bad.

"Punk'd?" Tara repeated.

"It means she pranked ya," AJ explained, swimming over to Tara. "Which she really, didn't do, all things considered."

"But... But it was... It was funny anyways!" Rene said between gasps for air.

"I didn't even bring a towel..." Tara muttered to herself.

"'S OK, ya can borrow mine, sugarcube," AJ told Tara before going back to the other side of the pool.

Tara stayed there for a minute or two, wondering about what to do. But then she thought of it. She quickly got out of the pool and went to where Rene was. Was. She had moved in the time it took Tara to get there.

"Um... Rene could you come back here?" Tara called.

"Sure..." Rene mumbled, coming back with a hot dog in hand. "...What? It's almost lunch.

"That's fine, but... Could you stand right here?" Tara asked politely.

"OK, sure." Rene obliged.

"Now face the pool," Tara instructed.

Rene did what she was told. "You'd better not be planning anything."

"Of course not," Tara lied, pushing Rene into the pool afterward.

Rene didn't have time to yell in surprise before she met the water. When she breached, she yelled, "F*** YOU, TARA! I CAN'T BELIEVE I FELL FOR THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK!... AND MY HOT DOG'S ALL WET!"

"Well, that's what you did to me!" Tara retorted before laughing just like Rene did. "Man, now I see why this is so funny!"

"DAMN YOU!" Rene continued to yell, now having a jovial tone to it all. "DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU!"

"Hey, sugarcube, calm down," AJ said calmingly, going to Rene.

"I am, I am, don't worry," Rene told AJ. "Jeez."

"I just thought you were actually mad," AJ apologized.

"Man, you guys need to take my books away from me more often!" was the last thing said by Tara for ten full minutes, laughing that entire time.

[hr]

The girls were at the mall because girls do that. Well, it was also because the afternoon swim class kicked them out because they needed half the pool. So, yeah, Rachel suggested they mall rat for a while and meet up eventually to have lunch in the food court. They all agreed and went there (after getting dressed, obviously), Tara going to (obviously) a book store, Rene going to Moonrise Records, Rachel going to various clothing stores, Pinkie was just wandering around aimlessly and AJ & Felicia sitting at a table in the food court to make it reserved, in a sense. None of them bought anything, so it was kinda pointless, all things considered. Eventually, they did all go to the food court and get what they wanted. Rene ended having to order something for Felicia and helped her make it more friendly for eater of no meat.

"OK, I found this book while I was browsing," Tara said when Rene was done with Felicia.

"NO!" Pinkie gasped.

"Actually, yes," Tara chuckled. "Anyways, I forget the title, but I do remember it saying that life is a lot easier when you give all your friends titles."

"What kind of whack job wrote that book?" Rene asked through a mouthful of food. "A spy?"

"I dunno," Tara replied with a shrug. "Again, I forgot. Back to what I was saying, it said you should give all your friends labels based off of what they've done for you and it makes life a whole lot easier! Like, you, Rene, I'd label you kindness."

"I am not kindness!" Rene snapped. "I'm just benevolent some times, that's all. My label should be awesome!"

"Actually, I'm basing it off when I first met you," Tara explained.

"Then it should be crasher!" Pinkie pointed out.

"And you should interrupter," Rene retorted.

"Actually, I think Pinkie should be laughter," Tara told the two.

"I knew it!" Pinkie cheered.

Tara nodded and continued: "Felicia, I'd definitely say you're truth. Rachel, you're loyalty. AJ, there's no doubt about it, you're generosity."

"Ya sayin' ah can't be truthful?" AJ asked.

"Well, I don't want to insult you, but-"

"You could break a lie detector," Rene answered for Tara.

"That's not what I was going to say," Tara muttered. "Hey, can I take the kindness thing back?"

"Nope," Rene replied.

"Excuse me, Tara," Rachel said, "since you've given all of us labels, what about you? What would you be?"

"What would I be?" Tara mused, rubbing her chin. "Ooo! I know! Magic!"

There was a small quiet as everybody let that sink in.

"Really... Magic?" Rachel enquired in disbelief. "That's what you choose for yourself?"

"Of course!" Tara chirped. "And I can prove it! OK, Everybody blink at the same time!"

"Why should we-"

"Just do it!"

"Fine..." Rachel mumbled.

Everybody blinked and looked around. Nothing happened.

"OK, so how did that prove anything?" AJ asked the most obvious question anybody could think of at that point.

What followed was about a minute of quiet by Tara. She didn't say anything, just had a devilish grin on her face. And right before AJ could ask another question, she held up something.

"I... Is t-t-that what I think i-it is?" Felicia stammered.

They all checked themselves and, sure enough, it was.

"Tara, that's disgusting!" Rachel exclaimed. "Why would you even do that?!"

"Well, you want me to prove it!" Tara replied.

"Actually, as ah recall, she didn't," AJ argued. "Ya were the one who wanted ter prove what yer label. And ah guess you did. Now give us... That back. Ah'm beginning to feel indecent."

"Fine; just blink again," Tara instructed the five. They did so and checked themselves.

"Um... Sparky, ah got Rachel's," AJ told Tara.

"I did? Oops, sorry," Tara said back. "And don't call me Sparky."

"Wait... How do you know what it looks like?" Rachel demanded.

"It's much too white for me," AJ explained.

"So, by that logic, I have AJ's!" Pinkie announced.

"Hey, not so loud!" Rene hissed. "We don't want everybody here to know what's happened!"

"So who's did you get?" Pinkie asked.

"...Felicia's..." Rene mumbled. "H-hey, can we talk about something different?"

"Yes, let's," Rachel said.

"Hey, Rachel, are you having trouble-" Tara started.

"Yes, let's," Rachel repeated. "So, how have you been enjoying Canada, Tara?"

"Well, I have been writing a little speech on it," Tara replied. "It's not ready yet and I doubt it will be for another month."

"Then can you read to us what you have?" Rachel enquired, hopeful.

"Well, um, the thing it, it's not here," Tara answered, starting to look a little nervous. Truth is, Tara hadn't written most of her speech and, what she had written, made her look like a drunken hobo. Really.

"Is there something wrong?" was the question AJ had to ask, touching Tara's shoulder.

"I-it's fine," Tara responded quickly. "So can we get a different topic?"

"Ooo, I got one!" Pinkie shouted.

"And what would that be?"

Pinkie took a deep breath and said, "MALE HOOKERS!"

The rest of the group all started crying out in disgust and protest.

"Why the f*** would you bring that up?!" Rene cried.

"Hey, shut up!" shouted a random person from across the court.

"You shut up!" Rene shouted back. "We are having a very mature conversation over here... About male hookers!"

"Smooth operating there," AJ commented.

"I try," Rene said.

"I-I don't think I-I want to talk about this," Felicia spoke up.

"Yeah, me neither," Tara muttered in disgust.

"But, I have this story-" Pinkie tried to protest, but she got a lot of glares from her friends and said, with a smile nonetheless, "Fine! I can live with that!" She took a sip of her Coke and laughed.

"Oh, goodness, I feel embarrassed right now," Tara sighed. "I bet you all do, too."

"Yes, but for different reasons," AJ agreed.

"Hey, I have a good idea!" Rachel suddenly exclaimed.

"Does it involve males selling themselves?" Tara demanded.

Rachel thought about it briefly. "Um... No," she replied eventually. "Anyways, my sister's going to be over a friend's place tonight and I wanted to know if you would all like to sleep over at my place tonight."

"Ah'm game," AJ said. "Mah sister's over at a friend's, too, so ah'm as free as a bird."

"Say, would your sister happen to be April?" Rachel enquired.

"Always has been, always will be," AJ responded. "Well, unless she decides it and ah'm sure she'll be stickin' with her given name."

"Then my sister knows her!" Rachel deduced. "My sister's Sandra, BTW."

"Then ah guess we've met before we've met!" AJ added.

"Actually, that's impossible," Tara told them. "For one, I presume they've never mentioned either of you by name, because, if they had, you would have recognized each other by name. But even then, neither of you would have met because you only know each other by name, you don't know the actual-"

"So who's yer sister visiting?" AJ interrupted.

"Scout Loudie," Rachel answered slowly, taking her precious time to think.

"Then that confirms it!" AJ said.

Tara sighed.

[hr]

About five hours later, the girls were at Rachel's place, Tara taking a little longer then normal because she had to take the time to do up all the locks. They all stayed in Rachel's room, which had a huge bed that could hold 18. Not once did anybody question it.

And, in all honesty, nothing worth writing about happened for quite some time. Sure, Rachel and AJ talked some more about their sisters, but nothing really happened. Except for setting Tara's little "magic trick" from earlier straight. And this:

"Um... Truth..." Felicia whispered.

"OK, I got a question," Rene chuckled. She whipped out a piece of gum and asked, "Does this get you off?"

Dead silence from Felicia.

"So can I take that as a no?" Rene asked.

Yeah. So anyways, let's get to the important thing, after they all fell asleep... On the floor, of course. At one point, Tara woke up with a scream, waking all the rest up.

"W... Wow, that was an awful dream," Tara said to herself.

"Mrph... Shut up... Can't sleep..." Rene muttered, tossing her pillow at Tara.

"What did you dream about Tara?" Felicia enquired sleepily, rubbing her eyes.

"Darkness..." Tara replied in a fearful tone. "Darkness and idiocy."

"Hey, Tara can you give me my pillow back?" Rene asked from where she was. "I can't sleep without it."

Tara rolled her eyes, tossed it back and continued talking to Felicia: "Yeah, it was an awful dream. The worst part was... Was... _I was purple_! _Purple_!"

"Ah think ah had the same dream, sugarcube," AJ said to them. "Except mine had more squirrels. A lot more squirrels."

"Mine was the same, darling," Rachel told Tara. "Except less squirrels. I'm assuming Pinkie, Rene and Felicia had the same dream."

"I-I'm... I'm never buying a shed," Felicia said before putting her face in her hands and crying.

"Um... Sure," Tara murmured. "Say, do you girls think that the fact that we all had the same dream means anything?"

Beat.

"NAH!" they all said in unison before going back to sleep.

**A/N: I know that this is updating pretty fast, but I really want this to go up on FIMFiction and it can't without some kind of connection to the MLP universe. So yeah. Bonum nocte et fortuna.**


	5. Chapter 4: Shiny, Winged Horsie

**SPARKY  
****Ch.4 - Shiny, Winged Horsie  
****By That Gamer!**

One week later, on a Tuesday...

"Did you notice that Rene was late today?" Pinkie whispered to Tara.

"Well, not that late," Tara whispered back. "It was only about ten minutes, y'know. She apparently stayed up all night playing Portal or something. I don't know. Can we please focus on the class at hand?"

"Speaking of which, Ms. Tara," Ms. _ suddenly spoke up from the front. "Did you get your creative report on Canada done? It was due months ago."

"To be honest, I've forgotten the last four months," Tara lied, acting embarrassed.

"And how is that possible?" Ms. _ asked.

"...I have no idea," Tara admitted with a shrug.

"For my top student, you sure are stupid," Ms. _ deadpanned.

"Can you call your student that?" asked Chrystine in a bored mannerism.

Ms. _ didn't answer. Instead, she continued with Tara: "Look, you're the smartest student I've ever seen... Well, actually, that would have to go to Diane since I've never heard you say a word, but that's besides the point. On the point, you could probably afford it, but if you don't get this assignment in by next week, I'll be forced to give you a 1-."

"1-?" Twilight repeated.

"It's a thing our school board does," Ms. _ explained.

"So does that mean I've been #1 this whole time?" Wendy wondered aloud.

"No, it's actually a D," Ms. _ told Wendy. "Speaking of which, why are you even taking this class?"

Wendy shrugged. "Beats me," she answered. "It's either this or I follow in my father's footsteps and work at the Rainbow Factory Outlet."

"That mall near Niagara Falls?" Tara asked. "That doesn't sound-"

"It closed in 2000," Wendy interrupted.

"And she's probably too dumb for any other classes," Chrystine chimed in with a snicker.

"HEY!"

"Anyways," Ms. _ said, "enough with this foolish walking on the sun."

"I gotta use that sometime..." Pinkie could be heard whispering to Tara, not that Ms. _ cared at this point. "Walking on the sun... It's genius!"

"Let's get on with our lesson," Ms. _ continued. "Now, can anybody guess what it is?"

"Freedom of speech?" Tara suggested.

"Parody?" Pinkie tried.

"Plagerism?" Chrysalis tossed up.

"Trying different things?" Rachel guessed.

"The effect of mature stories on younger readers?" Wendy added.

Ms. _ pondered their answers for a moment before coming up with something to say in reply: "You are all wrong!"

There was a collective groan of annoyance throughout the class.

"And, concerning yours, Wendy," Ms. _ went on, "I wouldn't be talking about mature stories with what you've got."

"Oh, well, thanks, I guess," Wendy said, laughing awkwardly.

"I'm beginning to wonder if she knows how to be a teacher..." Chrystine muttered to herself. "Like, at all."

"But, moving on, our lesson today is on..." Ms. _ paused for dramatic effect. "BUGS!"

"Oh, yeah, I should've..." the class said in unison without really trying. "Wait, what? _Bugs_[/i]?"

"Of course bugs!" Ms. _ told her class. "I mean, think about it! Bugs and censorship are practically the same! Bugs can be useful sometimes, but they mainly just get in your way and are annoying! And the bad thing is that we can't use Raid on censorship."

Pinkie raised her hand.

"I got this, Pinkie," Ms. _ said cooly. "Take the day off today." Pinkie sighed in relief and slumped back in her chair, Ms. _ starting to write on the board while saying more things on bugs, Tara writing it all down intently.

**MEANWHILE**

"Why do you always make us so late, Lara?" Bonnie groaned.

"Well excuse me for being in a wheelchair," Lara snapped, getting out of the elevator. "Need I remind you that you caused it?"

"Again, I'm sorry!" Bonnie, walking with Lara, exclaimed.

"And again, I accept it," Lara said. "Mostly because your got most of your stuff stolen."

"I knew I should've kept my door closed," Bonnie muttered openly.

"That you should have," Lara agreed. "Now be a good girl and stand there while I get my stuff for second period?"

"Second period?" Bonnie repeated.

"Yeah, that's what I said," Lara said, rummaging through her locker for something or other.

Bonnie groaned, crossed her arms and scanned the hallway, looking for something more interesting to look at then Lara. Funny enough, she did find something: A dark, black, "shadowy" object crossing the hall quickly.

"Um... I think there's something-" Bonnie began, but was cut of by a loud growl, shaking the whole school's foundation. "Lara, did you hear that?"

"Yes and it made me lose my concentration!" Lara cried in frustration.

"Uh... OK then..." Bonnie whispered, checking the hall again. "You really didn't hear that?"

"No and I lost my concentration again!" Lara seemed to be getting annoyed. "Just shut up and let me-" There was a loud growl from behind Lara. "Holy &*#, what did I just say?!"

"I... I... I..." Bonnie stammered trying to formulate a sentence, eying the giant shadow thing behind (or, really, to the right of) Lara.

"What?" Lara demanded.

Instead of coming up with an answer, Bonnie chose to start running for her life, screaming her head off.

"Hmph... Must not have been important," Lara muttered to herself. Then she looked her right and saw the shadow thing. "O hai there... I'm gonna run now, m'kay? Or wheel, more rather. So, if you'll excuse me-" Lara starting wheeling away as fast as possible, screaming bloody murder or whatever. Any cliche you like.

**BACK IN CLASS**

"...And, in conclusion, the Wookie is not on-" Ms. _ was just finishing up the first quarter of her lesson when Bonnie came by the class, screaming about something, which was followed by Lara doing much of the same and a loud growl that sounded like, "It's not my fault I look like this!"

"What in the world was that?" Wendy demanded with a yawn, waking up from her nap.

"Sounds like another one of Lara's alien freak-outs," Rachel replied. "I'm just surprised that there was such a long interval between them - 3 days!"

"Oh, yeah, should have known," Wendy muttered in a still-half asleep state of mind. "But how do you explain that other growling thing or whatever?"

"Still Lara," Rachel replied again, inspecting her nails closely.

"You think I would've noticed that at some point," Wendy mumbled before drifting off again.

"... Let's go check it out!" Pinkie exclaimed after a brief moment, waking Wendy up again. "Who's with me!" Without waiting for an answer, Pinkie just got up and dashed out, leaving the door open.

The above was followed by a long pause, only broken by Wendy's ocasional grumble of not being able to get back to sleep.

"I dunno about all you, but I'm curious," Chrystine broke the silence, getting up calmly and leaving in the same manner.

Eventually afterward, the rest of the students got up and went to see what Lara was doing with whatever. About three minutes later, Livinston Toomey had to go and get Wendy.

"Look, I don't care!" shouted Wendy as she was dragged out.

**WITH LARA AND BONNIE**[

The duo ran up onto the roof, Bonnie having to carry Lara up the stairs.

"Lose some weight!" Bonnie shouted at Lara.

"Yeah, maybe when I can feel below my waist!" Lara yelled back. "Look, we have more pressing matters at hand!"

"Like?"

"THE &*# SHADOW THING CHASING US?!"

"Oh yeah." Bonnie put Lara down and the two ran/wheeled to the edge of the roof. "Ah, $#!t, I knew we should've gone out the front door!"

"I knew we should've gone out the front door," Lara repeated in a mocking manner. "Hey, it was your idea to come up here!"

"I-I had a plan b-b-but I forgot," Bonnie stammered.

Just then, the big shadowy thing burst through the door, having stopped for a moment to read who made the school band this year, it's presence filling Lara and Bonnie's with the pain and isolation of their pitiful, meaningless existence.

Hugging Lara tight, Bonnie whispered to her friend, "I never meant all those wheelchair jokes."

"I don't blame you for what happened to me," Lara whispered, also hugging Bonnie. "It was really all the bus driver's fault."

"I know," Bonnie whispered. "Well, goodbye Lara. It was nice knowing you."

"Same here," Lara agreed, shutting her eyes tight.

"PERFECT!" the shadowy thing roared. "NOW I CAN EAT THE SOULS OF HUMANS AND THIS WORLD WILL BE FILLED WITH DARKNESS AND NOTHING MORE! I WILL-"

"Aw, hell no, yah won't!" shouted a voice from behind the thing.

"Hey, c'mon, I'm detailing my evil plan!" the darkness whined, turning around.

And what did it see? Well, first of all, it saw all the students in the school standing on the roof ("Damn, we got a big roof!" Trixie remarked). Second, it saw Ms. _, in this kind of battle pose.

"What in tarnation is that?" AJ asked Tara.

"I was about to ask that!" someone shouted from the back.

"She's our teacher," Tara answered. "How did you..."

"No, I mean the shadowy thing," AJ corrected herself. "What the &*# is that?"

"Oh, then I have no idea," Tara responded with a shrug.

Soon, Ms. _ turned to the students, just to turn back to the darkness. She mumbled something along the lines of "Hoo boy, I was hoping to avoid this kind of thing" and put her hands to her heart, as Anime music stared blaring in the background obnoxiously.

There were two orbs of light that materialized at her feat, starting to slowly spiral their way up her body, getting faster and faster, turning her completely naked when they reached the top.

"...Hey, she has a tattoo in the same place as me!" Pinkie was quick to shout.

But then, her body enveloped in a blinding white glow and, for those who were blind, you could vaguely see Ms. _'s form changing for a normal human being into a winged (and horned) horse, about two feet above the other students, with flowing hair that probably had a lot of conditioner in it.

Or, as Pinkie put it: "A shiny, winged horsie!"

"...What?" AJ was shocked. The students were stunned.

"Oh, jeez, not you again!" the darkness monster said, frustration coating it's voice like it's body covered the roof.

"Look, Nightmare Moon's using you to gain power," Ms. _ spat, "but I will not let my sister use you! Your poor, defenseless shadow being of death!"

"Oh... Wait, I forgot, who are ya?" the shake monster asked.

"Another thing I was hoping to avoid..." Ms. _ grumbled to herself before saying, much louder, while flying up dramatically, "My name is Princess Celestia! I come from an alternate universe called Equestria and I'm here to prevent things like this happening!"

"Celestia..." Tara muttered to herself. She turned to the others and said, "You guys! You know what this means!?"

Rene shrugged and continued watching the fight. The others followed suit.

"Good, neither do I," Tara said, also looking at the fight.

Back with Celestia and the shadow thing, the fight... "Raged" on, with Celestia going, "OK, let's see, blah-blah-blah, this pure heart has turned wicked, yadda-yadda-yadda, turn him back to normal and stuff, boom." With that, Celestia dropped a purple ball onto the thing like a bowling ball, turning it back into an ordianary man. "Anyways, let this guy go back home or whatever, I know I'm supposed to chant something, but I want to get this over with, you're gone." So Celestia made the man dissapear and she landed back on the ground, completely buck nude.

"Um... Wow?" Tara tried sounding amazed, but it was kind of underwhelming in the end.

"You're damn right, wow," Celestia said to Tara. "Now is everybody OK?"

"Um... WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!" one of the teachers demanded.

"Earthquake," Celestia replied quickly, obviously laying. "Really mild one."

"It destroyed half the school!" the teacher pointed out hysterically. "YOU CALL THAT MILD?!"

"...School's out!" Celestia declared, making all the students cheer.

And before the teacher could get in another word, he was trampled by three dozen students making their way down the stairs and through the wrecked remains of the school.

Down out front, everybody was getting into thier cars and walking and stuff except for Rene and Felicia.

"I got a motorcycle, ya know," Rene told Felicia.

Felicia nodded, but then asked, "Oh... Why are you telling me this?"

"Well, um, I don't have a motorcycle," Rene admitted, her sentence devolving into a still audible mutter.

"So... Why are you telling me this?" Felicia repeated herself.

"I was hoping to give you a ride home," Rene offered with a confident grin.

"...How?"

"I could carry you on my back and make motorcycle noises."

"Hmm... OK," Felicia said before calling out, still in her quiet way, "Chrystine, I'm going to be riding home with Rene! I hope you don't mind!"

"OH HELL NO!" Chrystine shouted.

"She's OK with it," Felicia said.

Rene nodded approvingly, proceeding to pick Felicia up on her back.

"Make sure to hold on," Rene said. "But it's only a suggestion, y'know..."

After saying that, she (Rene) starting making motorcycle noises, running out the parking lot and away from a lot of strange glances.

**LATER**

Tara, Rachel, AJ and Pinkie were on a bridge with a lot of cars, discussing things that weren't what happened at school, when they heard some mouth noises from behind. They all looked there and saw Rene, gasping like crazy.

"Uh... Rene, are you OK?" AJ enquired, looking genuinely concerned.

"I... I was carrying... There was a..." Rene wheezed, trying to form complete sentences.

"She carried me here on her back," Felicia explained for Rene.

"Oh... That's stupid," AJ commented.

"I think it's quite sweet," Rachel argued. "In a sort of lesbian kind of way, but..."

"I'm not gay!" Rene shouted, somehow managing to get enough of her breath back to do that.

"Don't worry, I wasn't going there, darling," Rachel reassured Rene.

"I hope you-" Rene began, but there was a loud honk and a truck coming _right for them!_

"Well, I hope you can go supersonic like Sonic, Rene," Tara told Rene before running like mad, Rachel, AJ and Pinkie naturally following.

"Oh, not more running!" Rene complained. She went off nevertheless, as her life was dependent on it. And Felicia just assumed a shadowy thing was in there, 'cause he really didn't want to be reminded of the large truck thing coming to kill her and her friends by running them over mercilessly.

About an hour later, they arrived at the park, all out of breath, even the truck seeming to be out of gas.

"Well... Our story's over," Tara said to the others in between gaps.

"Might as well go out in song!" Pinkie exclaimed before almost bursting into song, but Rene slapped her. "Hey!"

"I-I-I-I'm... Too t-t-tired too..." Rene spluttered out before fainting.

"Oh... My..." Felicia muttered.

From behind, the sound of the truck door opening could be hear and, like Felicia predicted, a shadowy thing came out in a trucker's hat.

"That takes any threat, ah'd say," AJ deadpanned.

"I'm drivin' a truck... Drivin' a truck..." the shadowy thing sang to itself. "Got a load to carry and some eyebrows left to..." It then noticed the girls and said, "Oh, hello. Why are you staring at me like that?"

"You're a shadow!" Tara cried. "Look at yourself! Your evil!"

"I'll have you know that I'm not!" the shadowy thing stated. But then looked down. "Well, I'll be. This seems to be an odd evolution in my life."

"So wait, yer-" was all AJ got to say before Celestia came out of the rock that was beside them and blasted the shadow thing into oblivion.

"Hello, Ms. _...?" Tara greeted very slowly.

"You can just call me Celestia," Celestia told Tara. "I would do that whole forget thing on all of you, but I've had a long day and I'm &*#ing tired."

"Celestia, what are you doing?" a horned pony whined, its head coming out from the rock.

"I'm almost done; go home Terra," Celesita muttered to Terra, who obeyed, and, keeping her promise, finished with the six girls: "So if you're all really curious, you can come through this rock or whatever. Not like I really care either way." And with that, she went back through the rock and back to where ever.

"...Should we do it?" Tara asked the other five.

"School's gonna be out for a while," Rachel pointed out. "But we don't know what's on the other side. For all we know, it could be dangerous!"

"O-or deadly!" Felicia added.

"Those mean the same thing," Rachel reminded Felicia.

"They might not mean that over there!" Pinkie argued playfully.

"Fair point..." Rachel muttered.

"Look, I just don't care either way!" Rene, after quickly waking up, tossed in her two cents. "I don't have nothin' planned for this time off and I'm not studying or something!"

"Which reminds..." Tara began, starting to walk off, but AJ got a grip on her collar.

"Personally, ah think y'all are high off yer &*es," AJ said. "Then again, ah think ah am, too. So why not?"

"Ooo! Ooo! Me too!" Pinkie chimed in, waving her hand like she was in school.

"I... Mprh..." Felicia squeaked.

"So yes?"

Felicia nodded and everybody looked at Tara.

"Majority rules, sugarcube," AJ told Tara.

"I know, I know," Tara muttered. "Now-" But then...

**FLASH!**

"...they were sent off to an alternate universe. Which universe, you might ask? How? Why? Who cares? Well, to answer those questions..." Tara finished, closing the book she was obviously reading from. She looked at the five ponies around her, including Rene and AJ, "So, tell me, girls, how was that?"

"What did that have to do with us?" Rene asked the most obvious question. "I mean, that one girl... What's her name? Rene? Eh, I've already forgotten. Anyways, she kinda acts like me... But again, I've forgotten-"

"She acts like her, but it isn't her," AJ cut in, finishing for Rene. "Same with the rest of us."

"This was a bad story for us to critique," the white pony who sounded like Rachel commented. "I mean, really, darlings, this was just awful."

"Yeah, ah thought we were gonna get a story about us!" AJ agreed.

"O-or a-at least about a backing c-character," the yellow pony who sounded like Felicia added in a mumbled.

"I liked it!" the pink pony exclaimed. "Especially that one who's name after me!"

Tara sighed and said, "I think you're all right. We did this to see how moderators rate fanfictions and this was not a good example. I say we send for a different one. Tell 'em this one isn't that good."

"Honestly, nothing for this guy is good," AJ remarked before Tara stuffed the story in an envelope

**FLASH!**

"Sparkeh! Sparkeh!" shouted AJ, shaking her friend. Oddly enouh, Tara had been out for about a full minute. That was twice as long as she was normally knocked out.

"Jacqueline, for the last time, that doesn't work," Rachel sighed with a hand massaging her forehead.

"Well, what else am ah supposed to do?" AJ asked.

"The way of a gentlewoman," Rachel replied. She politely moved AJ away, stood in front of Tara and slapped her, screaming, "WAKE UP!"

"Mm-hmm, yeah, gentlewoman," AJ muttered with a sarcastic edge as sharp as a razor.

"Excuse me for trying," Rachel scoffed. "If you'd like to go back to whatever you were doing, be my guest. However, I don't think it'll work."

But then Tara woke up, rubbing her cheek.

"Hey, look, nothing worked!" Pinkie exclaimed cheerily.

"How ironic," AJ grumbled.

"First of all, OW, my cheek!" Tara cried. "Who hit me?" Nobody answered. "No answer? OK then. Second... Our life's a lie."

"Oh, gonna all philosophical on us, are ya?" Rene asked, crossing her arms. "Ponies got you thinkin' about a deeper level of life?"

"No, i-it's j-j-just..." stammered Twilight.

"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?" Pinkie sang. "Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality..."

"No, I saw five ponies that look like you," Tara explained, "a-a-and apparently they were just reading a story! About us! Following us ever since I started high school here!"

"So, wait, you're saying we're in the movie _Stranger Than Fiction_?!... I never saw that!" Pinkie gasped.

"None of us did," Rachel told Pinkie. She then said to Tara, "How can you confirm all of this? Strange that I'm only thinking _now_ you're crazy."

"I-I-I don't even..." Tara groaned in frustration. "Give me a second to think about it." She sighed and leaned against the rock she was next to - forgetting it was apparently a portal to another universe. So she fell through with a yelp of obvious surprise.

"Aw, damn it, Tara!" Rene exclaimed, facepalming. "Now we're gonna have to go after here!"

"Ah thought we wanted to go there," AJ pointed out.

"So now we got even more reason!" Pinkie said cheerily.

"Again, I think we're all high, but..." AJ trailed off, not really accepting it, but going along with it anyways. "Who wants to go first?"

Pinkie took that as a green light, running through the portal as fast as she could. The rest of the group looked at each other.

"...Ah don't see why not," said AJ.

"But we don't even know what's over there!" Felicia argued.

"Yah never know until yah try," AJ pointed out before going through the rock portal.

"Y-yeah, b-b-b-but..." Now, of course, Felicia was terrified of what might be over there and tried to make some more arguments, but Rene was already gone and Rachel was pushing towards the stone.

"Darling, I don't like this either," Rachel said calmly. "But... I don't even know what. I'm just following them and hoping I don't die along with them."

So the last two passed through. And what did they find on the other side? I dunno, the meaning of life or something. I'm not a philosopher. But before I can tell you that story... I don't have another stories. So let's just tell that story.


	6. Chapter 5: Across The In-Universe

**SPARKY  
****Ch.5 - Across The In-Universe  
****Written by That Gamer!**

On the other side of the rock, Rachel and Felicia found themselves in a dark forest, that you and I know as the Everfree Forest. However, to them, it was just some place in the middle of nowhere. So let's check up on them, eh?

"This isn't... T-too bad," Felicia commented, sticking close to Rachel and looking around.

"I know," Rachel agreed. "I know it looks kinda dark, but we could've ended up in whatever violent video games Rene likes to play."

"Portal is not violent!" Rene exclaimed.

"Not what I'm referring to," Rachel, in a singsong way, told Rene.

"Then what were you?" Rene asked.

"Ah don't think that should be our top concern," AJ deadpanned.

"Well, I did ask..."

"Of course... So does anybody know where we are?" AJ asked. "And where's Tara?"

"You're standing on me," Tara mumbled from the ground, face down in the dirt.

AJ looked down then and saw that she was, indeed, standing on her friend.

"Oh! Ah'm sorry, sugarcube," AJ said quickly stepping off to the left. "And ah can guess that everybody ran over yah."

"Yeah, you did," Tara grumbled, getting up and rubbing her head. "So can anybody tell me where we are?"

"The Everfree Forest!" Pinkie replied almost instantly.

"...So how do you know that?" Tara asked slowly.

"This voice in my head told me!" Pinkie answered. "Y'see, the moment we arrived here, this voice starting narrating every single thing we do! I know, it's weird but it's true! It's telling me exactly what I'm saying right now."

Tara blinked and exchanged confused glances with the five that weren't apparently crazy.

"Hey, I'm not crazy!" Pinkie argued. "I just have a lot of energy!"

"Are you sure?" Rene asked.

"I'm very sure!" Pinkie huffed, crossing her arms. "And that wasn't a huff!"

Whatever. So, anyways, after a little less conversation, the six went off through the dark, evil forest-

"OK, so this is a dark and evil forest," Pinkie told the others.

Thank you. Moving on, they-

"Hey! I found something dark and evil!" Pinkie cried from behind a tree.

"Oh, dear, would you stop getting distracted?" Rachel sighed, putting a hand to her forehead.

"No, but really, I did!" Pinkie said. "It's this hardcover book called... _Past Sins_?"

Tara snatched the book from Pinkie and said something along the lines of, "I'll read this later..."

ANYWAYS, they went along their way, passing many thing they cared about until they reached, naturally the end, seeing a cartoon-looking town in the distance. In fact, the entire place looked like a cartoon. Not to say the Humane 6 didn't, but, y'know, considering where they were from.

"Ooo! We're called the Humane 6!" Pinkie.

"I can agree with that," Felicia commented.

"But it only applies to you!" Rene said.

"So you don't care about animals?" Felicia enquired, very concerned.

"No, no, that's not what I'm saying," Rene told Felicia very quickly. "That's not what I'm &*#ing saying at &*#ing all."

"Adding ' &*#" doesn't make you sorry," Felicia mumbled.

"Then I'm &*#ing sorry for saying ' &*#'!" Rene exclaimed.

"That's even worse!" Felicia said. "Now you're really not sorry!"

"Just say yer sorry," AJ mumbled to Rene. "If we know Felicia the way we know here, then she won't budge unless you apologize completely." Rene took a deep breath and AJ added, "No swearing."

Rene sighed deeply and said, "I'm sorry I said those words you don't like. I realize you're sensitive and all and I'm sorry..."

"Oh, well, thank you for-"

"BUT!" Rene continued, making AJ facepalm. "It's just a word and you shouldn't be such a baby about it!"

"B-b-b-but-" Felicia stammered. She didn't get to say much, however, 'cause Rachel stepped in then, slapping Rene in the face and started berating her. the rest of them backing off then, making a run for the cartoon town, 'cause things were getting ugly.

"Still think we're high?" Tara asked AJ.

"No, but ah think Rene's gonna need some medical help," answered AJ. "Dumb question, but do yah think they got human hospitals here?"

"Probably not..." Tara shrugged.

"Well, maybe if you see my friend Lyra, but, y'know, she's kinda crazy..." said a voice that sounded a lot like Bonnie's. The four looked around for a few seconds and then down, seeing a pony who, yes, looked like Bonnie. "What? Never seen a talking pony before? Name's Bonbon, FYI."

"I've seen them," Tara said. "In flashes, but it's the same thing."

"We haven't," Felicia muttered. "A-a-and you're not shocked to see humans? S-s-s-since I presume there aren't a whole lot of them here."

"Try none," Bonbon deadpanned. "However, Lyra likes to slip LSD into my bonbons, so I kinda see them on a regular basis... BTW, Lyra's obsessed with you guys. As I said previously, she's kinda out of her mind. And in a wheelchair. Actually, now that I think about it, Humans In Equestria stories make them really common, so buck what I said earlier."

"Say, you remind me of somebody!" Diane commented. "...Oh, wait, Bonnie Swinton! The voice in my head told me so!"

"Fascinating." And with that, Bonbon went to the town in the distance, the four deciding to follow, because they had nobody... Er, nopony better.

After a little while, Rachel and Rene caught up with them, the latter looking a little beat up.

"She slapped me in places she shouldn't have," Rene remarked flatly.

"I was just defending Felicia," Rachel replied, crossing her arms. "What you need is somebody to defend you, since that, really, was kind of pathetic."

"Where'd you even get the whip?" Rene demanded.

"It's confidential," Rachel snapped, walking away faster. When she caught up to Tara, she naturally asked, "Who's the pony we're following?"

"Bonbon," responded Bonbon. "And, y'know, none of you have to follow me. I'm going straight home!"

"Well, I presume we'd kinda need a place to stay..." Tara started.

"ah just realized, none of these ponies are noticing us," AJ pointed out.

"Again, Human In Equestria stories," Bonbon explained. "The Brony union has made us do so many of them, it doesn't even affect us anymore. You can't tell, but we like to deliver our lines as sarcastically and snarky as possibly whenever those happen. I mean buck... Though I do admit you guys look kind familiar."

"Brony union?" AJ repeated. "Ah, &*#, does that mean this place is controlled by that group of idiots back in our world? &*#..."

"So idiocy is multi-universal." Bonbon shook her head and groaned at the thought, proceeding to say, "Yeah, they can be pretty stupid some times. I mean, there can be a decent story every now and then, like _Flying High_ or _Loyalty Of Sand_ or, to some extent, _Past Sins_-"

"Wait, if it's good why did I find it in that forest place?" Pinkie interrupted.

"The Everfree Forest?" Bonbon asked. "No, no, that's just to make it seem less evil then it actually is. It's actually _Applejack Is Full Of Squirrels_." She paused before adding, "Don't read it. Your face will melt off and your soul be sentenced to eternal damnation. Those poor souls... A-anyways, as I was saying, they can be-"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Rene cut in with a bland ring to it.

"Whatever..." Bonbon groaned. "I'm home. You guys go do something else."

"B-but-"

SLAM!

"I'm so confused," Felicia said.

"Yeah, do any of you know what she was talking about?" Tara enquired.

"No, I-I don't," Rachel replied. "I don't remember Bonnie ever being that... What's the word I'm looking for?"

"Hateful?" Sweetie Belle suggested.

"Probably," Rachel agreed with a head nod. Pause. "Wait, Sandra? What the &*# are you doing here?"

"Sandra? No, I'm Sweetie Belle," Sweetie Belle reminded Rachel. "What made you forget?"

Tara was staring in disbelief. "So... She... Doesn't look odd to you?" she asked.

"Well, she's a little whiter then normal," Sweetie observed slowly. "And a little taller. You, on the other hand, are clearly not Twilight. Not to be rude or anything, but what's with the leg warmers?"

"I told her they were out of season," Rachel added.

"Anyways, I have a more important question," Tara said. Even though it had been four months, three weeks and one day, oddly enough, Tara was still defending her leg warmers. While awesome, yes, they starting fusing to her body.

"...Sorry, your leg warmers distracted me," Sweetie admitted.

"Look, where's..."

Just then, a gray pegasus crashed into Rene.

"Ah, &*#!" Rene shouted. "The &*# was that &*# for, you &*#ing &*#?!"

"Rene, you're swearing again..." Rachel said in a somewhat threatening voice.

"Urgh... What was that for?!" Rene demanded, forcing the gray pegasus off of her.

"I... I just don't know what went-" The gray pegasus started.

"You went into me, that's what!" Rene interrupted. "Now scram before I beat your &* in ten seconds flat!"

"I'm sorry, Rainbow!" the gray pegasus said quickly before flying away... And straight into a tree.

"Now that was rude," Rachel commented.

"Honestly, yah could've been a little nicer," AJ agreed.

"She ran right into me!" Rene argued. "I had the right of way!"

"Girls," Tara spoke up. "Can I finish?"

"Go ahead," AJ told Tara. "We'll just be back here discussing nothing... Like where the &*# Pinkie is."

"You're swearing!"

"Anyways... We're looking for our alternate universe selves," Tara continued. "Since you know who we look like, can you tell us where they are?"

"Somewhere over there, I guess," answered Sweetie, pointing over in the general direction of Sugarcube Corner. "Why do you want to know? Wait, no, forget that, how did you get here?"

"Rock," Tara was quick to reply.

"Really? I thought pop or jazz would get somepony like you here," Sweetie said.

"First of all, we're not ponies," Tara reminded Sweetie.

"Sorry. Got my nouns mixed up."

"Second," Tara went on, "not the musical genre, the other kind. You know, the naturally occurring solid aggregate of one or more mineral or mineraloid?"

"Oh... Is that all?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Good, I gotta go. I'm supposed to be on set of this new fanfiction with my friends about me being a robot."

"What's it called?"

"_A.S. Artificial Sweetener_." So, after saying probably the most fitting Sweetie Bot story name ever, Sweetie trotted off to bigger and better memes.

"Hey, guys, howzit goin'?" Pinkie asked, coming back while chewing on a cupcake.

"Where have you been?" Rachel demanded. "We've spent zero hours looking for you!"

"Oh, I was over there," Pinkie said coolly, pointing in the same direction Sweetie did. "Apparently it was called Sugarcube Corner! It makes really good cupcakes! Almost like mine..."

"It's bleeding," Felicia pointed out.

"Again, almost like mine." Pinkie took another bite of her pastry and Felicia HURK'd. "There were a bunch of ponies out front that looked like us. You think we should check it out?"

"Of course!" Tara exclaimed. "That's why we came here!"

"We came here because you fell into the rock portal," AJ reminded Tara.

"Same difference," Tara mumbled, going off to Sugarcube Corner. With nothing else better to do, the others followed.

Two or so minutes later, they arrived, as expected, Tara stopping short, making the others crash into the back of her.

"Could give us a warning first," AJ muttered.

"OK, see over there? Those are the ponies from my flashes," Tara told the group, disregarding AJ.

Rachel looked over and asked, "I don't think we're males."

"No, no, I mean-" Tara was cut short from her explanation when she noticed there were, in fact, male versions of those ponies... And there were also some that looked remarkably Japanese... And some that looked nothing like them. "...OK, NOW I'M REALLY CONFUSED!"

**A/N: To be continued in _uniVerses_. Bonum nocte et fortuna.**


End file.
